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I am going to do it. I have made up my mind. These are the first few words of the new… the best … the Longest Text In The Entire History Of The Known Universe! This Has To Have Over 35,000 words the beat the current world record set by that person who made that flaming chicken handbooky thingy. I might just be saying random things the whole time I type in this so you might get confused a lot. I just discovered something terrible. autocorrect is on!! no!!! this has to be crazy, so I will have to break all the English language rules and the basic knowledge of the average human being. I am not an average human being, however I am special. no no no, not THAT kind of special ;). Why do people send that wink face! it always gives me nightmares! it can make a completely normal sentence creepy. imagine you are going to a friend’s house, so you text this: [ see you soon ] seems normal, right? But what is you add the word semi to that colon? (Is that right? or is it the other way around) what is you add a lorry to that briquettes? (Semi-truck to that coal-on) anyway, back to the point: [ see you soon ]THAT IS JUST SO CREEPY! is that really your friend, or is it a creepy stalker watching your every move? Or even worse, is it your friend who is a creepy stalker? maybe you thought it was your friend, but it was actually your fri end (let me explain: you are happily in McDonalds, getting fat while eating yummy food and some random dude walks up and blots out the sun (he looks like a regular here) you can’t see anything else than him, so you can’t try to avoid eye contact. he finishes eating his cheeseburger (more like horseburgher(I learned that word from the merchant of Venice(which is a good play(if you can understand it(I can cause I got a special book with all the words in readable English written on the side of the page(which is kinda funny because Shakespeare was supposed to be a good poet but no-one can understand him(and he’s racist in act 2 scene1 of the play too))))))) and sits down beside you , like you are old pals (you’ve never met him before but he looks like he could be in some weird cult) he clears his throat and asks you a very personal question. “can i have some French fries?” (I don’t know why there called French fries when I’ve never seen a French person eat fries! all they eat it is stuff like baguettes and crêpes and rats named ratty-two-ee which is a really fun game on the PlayStation 2) And you think {bubbly cloud thinking bubble} “Hahahahahhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!! Hehheheheheh…..heeeheehe..hehe… sigh. I remember that i was just about to eat one of my fries when I noticed something mushy and moist and [insert gross color like green or brown] on the end of one of my fries! now I can give it to this NERD!! ” (yes he is a nerd because all he does all day is watch the extended editions of the hobbit, lord of the rings and star wars and eat fat cakes (what the heck is a fat cake? I think it might be like a Twinkie or something)and twinkies(wow so is doesn’t really matter which is which because he eats both(i may have just done that so I didn’t have to Google what a fat cake is (right now I am typing on my iPhone 3gs anyway, which has a broken antenna so i can’t get internet anyway (it’s actually a really funny story that i’ll tell you sometime)))and sit in his man cave with his friend named Joe (an ACTUAL friend, not a fri end)and all Joe does is watch sports like football with bob and all bob does is gamble ferociously (don’t ask(it means he buys all those bags of chips that say “win a free monkey or something if you find a banana in your bag*”(if there is a little star it means there is fine print so I always check the back of the package) flips over the package okay, it says: “one of our workers accidentally threw a banana in the packing machine and we don’t want to get sued so we did this promotion thing” cool. Oh wow, this is salt and vinegar! my favourite! i hate cheese and onion.))and that’s pretty much his life, he lives in Jamaica with Naruto and his friends) so you give him that gross fri end he throws up all over you and me and the worker behind the counter who was still making an onion, and THAT is the story of the fri end, not a friend who somehow remembered your name and your phone number / email so he could text you saying he would come to your house soon. finally takes a breath after typing a few hundred words about fri-ends so what now? i know, i know, you think i ramble too much and use too many brackets (i don’t) but now i am going to talk about my amAZEing day. first i woke up, ate choco pops for breakfast even tho i always hate it when people say that cause i get jealous and super hungry. then i… umm… yea! that was my day. you know that other person i mentioned before? that flaming chicken person? WELL. i will steal something from that person but do it better. i will… drum roll please … badabadabadabadabadabadabummmmmmmmmmmchshchshchshchshbadabadboumboumpoopoopichypichypichypowpow-crash! a drum roll was just playing in the background that drumroll was so long i forget what i was talking about. scrolls up to see what he was writing about oh yea! i will make my own FLAMING CHICKEN HANDBOOK! what things do i like? instead of flaming it could be rainbow, instead of chicken it could be fluffysheep and instead of handbook it could be handbook (not very creative, i know) but the total complete name is now to rainbow fluffysheep handbook! to make life easier for you guys, instead of taking random rules out of book willy nilly, i will take them out using my favourite numbers! so, section 5040 of the rainbow fluffysheep handbook states that the king of all oddly coloured farm animals (thats me!) is allowed to tell you any part out of this book randomly or if it is his one of his favorite numbers! 5040 is a great number because it is divisible by 60 integers which i don’t know. i’m tired. it is 10:41 and i am getting sleepy… hey hey hey! an intruder! remember that from pokepals rulers of time and darkness or something like that! with piplup and sunflora and chimchar! whaoh piplup is really hard to write on a tiny qwerty keyboard! try it! i realised that asdf is actually written in order on the qwerty keyboard! (just in case you didn’t know, asdf is an amazing short video clips cartoony thing on youtube i first learned bout on flipnote hatena, which is now shut down ) what if one day they get rid of the qwerty keyboard completely! i will type it out for you just in case one day they get rid of it. qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm. there u go. Goodbye. I’m back! i decided that i should tell you about fonts. i always used the same font for my whole life, called arial. the reason is probably because it is on the top of the list in alphabetical order, and i was too lazy to scroll all the way down. only a few months ago did i finally decide to change my mind. i scrolled for what seemed to be an eternity, and i finally got to… are you ready … arial black. yep, that was my big SCROLLING ADVENTURE! just yesterday, i was typing something on google docs and i found the new best font : roboto. its great! i could choose from FIVE different thicknesses. isn’t that amazing? right now we are driving behind a really slow “farm plastics collection” semi. i think i know someone obsessed with pokemon, but i can’t tell you who it is. he keeps making pokepals references and stuff. wow! you are a very loyal reader! if you have REALLY made it this far then you… get a gold star on your loyalty chart! good job! this is looking to be the longest text ever, considering that this was all written in one day. i don’t understand sandwiches. if you were to eat bread, mayo and tomatoes separately it would be disgusting! you know all those fancy magazines/restaurants that always have really fancy food pictures with meat and brussels sprouts and all the old people say “wow! that looks great!” and you think {bubble thing} “it looks like the worst thing anyone could ever eat” and the you eat it and it tastes surprisingly… WORSE than you imagined! gotta go… im back! ive ive got stuff to say! your probably thinking… HoW DoEs He HaVe So MuCh FrEe TiMe?!?! And the answer is… i don’t. that’s right. this isn’t just some SIDE project. i’ve gotta make time to do this if wanna get the world record. for all i know, the flaming chicken opponent who i will refer to from now on as sam (i don’t know why) is probably still adding to her posts. (i think i picked sam because it sounds like ham which is like cooked meat and so is flaming chicken, so you will remember that now ) i am officially going to make a quote from the rainbow fluffysheep handbook of knowledge and prestige (sounds catchy, huh?) . section 777 of the rainbow fluffysheep handbook STATES that the king of oddly colored farm animals

[pikuza1]

𝐓𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, [𝟏-𝟖𝟖𝟖-𝟗𝟗𝟏-𝟖𝟐𝟓𝟎�]𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐨𝐧'𝐬 𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐥-𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 [𝟏-𝟖𝟖𝟖-𝟗𝟗𝟏-𝟖𝟐𝟓𝟎�]. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐥𝐞. 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐥 [�𝟏-𝟖𝟖𝟖-𝟗𝟗𝟏-𝟖𝟐𝟓𝟎�] 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 [�𝟏-𝟖𝟖𝟖-𝟗𝟗𝟏-𝟖𝟐𝟓𝟎�]. 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐨-𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, [�𝟏-𝟖𝟖𝟖-𝟗𝟗𝟏-𝟖𝟐𝟓𝟎�] 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐝. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 [�𝟏-𝟖𝟖𝟖-𝟗𝟗𝟏-𝟖𝟐𝟓𝟎�]. 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 [�𝟏-𝟖𝟖𝟖-𝟗𝟗𝟏-𝟖𝟐𝟓𝟎�] 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐚𝐭 [�𝟏-𝟖𝟖𝟖-𝟗𝟗𝟏-𝟖𝟐𝟓𝟎�] 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬—[�𝟏-𝟖𝟖𝟖-𝟗𝟗𝟏-𝟖𝟐𝟓𝟎�] 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐦 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐭 [�𝟏-𝟖𝟖𝟖-𝟗𝟗𝟏-𝟖𝟐𝟓𝟎�] 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝, 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐚 [�𝟏-𝟖𝟖𝟖-𝟗𝟗𝟏-𝟖𝟐𝟓𝟎�], 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐥. 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫, 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 (𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐠𝐥𝐞), 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦—𝐛𝐮𝐭 [�𝟏-𝟖𝟖𝟖-𝟗𝟗𝟏-𝟖𝟐𝟓𝟎�] 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐚𝐭 [�𝟏-𝟖𝟖𝟖-𝟗𝟗𝟏-𝟖𝟐𝟓𝟎�] 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩-𝐛𝐲-𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞. 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐬𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 [�𝟏-𝟖𝟖𝟖-𝟗𝟗𝟏-𝟖𝟐𝟓𝟎�] 𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲. 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐨-𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐥, 𝐥𝐞𝐭 [�𝟏-𝟖𝟖𝟖-𝟗𝟗𝟏-𝟖𝟐𝟓𝟎�] 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥. 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥, [�𝟏-𝟖𝟖𝟖-𝟗𝟗𝟏-𝟖𝟐𝟓𝟎�] 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐨-𝐭𝐨 𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲.